


...and when (i thought that) it was over, i see you standing at the door

by noya-chaaan (ladynoirsdaughter)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Broken Promises, Gen, Loss of Trust, Misunderstandings, Reuniting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 10:07:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18163802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladynoirsdaughter/pseuds/noya-chaaan
Summary: kuroo meets a kenma that replaced the one he left behind.sequel to "...it's (not) the first time (i've) we've been through this"





	...and when (i thought that) it was over, i see you standing at the door

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again!
> 
> So literally one person asked for a part 2 for the Kenma angst and well, I had a bit of an idea for it and decided to do it anyway. It's not as perfect as I would like, but it's definitely the type of storyline I was going for.
> 
> Title is from R5's "Repeating Days".
> 
> Lowercase intended.
> 
> Enjoy!

when kuroo steps into the grounds at nekoma for the first time since he graduated and left for university, it’s been almost three months. he knows it shouldn’t have taken so long, and he’s not really sure how the time passed so quickly, but the aura surrounding him the second he sets foot on the high school campus is nothing but negative.

kenma didn’t reply to his message the week before when he told him he was coming back for a few days, with a lot of explaining to do, and he half expected it. he knew he faded away first and the younger wouldn’t be happy with him, so he sucked up the courage to come back anyway.

the first person he sees is one of his old teachers; a middle-aged woman who thought he was too rowdy but was always content with his work ethic. they greet each other in silence before he walks towards the gym, the obvious sound of volleyballs echoing.

kuroo will admit that he’s afraid. not only did he leave kenma, he left everyone else too, and the exact same way. he stopped contacting them and putting effort into any message he managed to send, and they stopped as well. so standing in front of the door is nothing short of terrifying. of course they won’t be happy to see him - who would want to greet a person who gave up on them?

“kuroo.” he knows that voice, and he turns around with a smile that quickly drops.

“kenma…” his voice drifts off easily as he takes in the look of his old friend.

his hair is short.

there’s practically no blond left, and it sits messy across his forehead, obviously having been previously pushed up and off the skin. and that’s another thing; his skin. there’s the slightest tan to it, and it stands out against the dark training shirt he wears. plus, he doesn’t seem to be as skinny as he remembers.

this isn’t the kenma he remembers, and it’s worrisome.

“why are you here?” the shorter boy asks, bringing kuroo out of his stupor. he’s a little lost for words as he keeps staring, and it seems to bother the other.

“i came to visit. did you get my text?”

kenma just stares at him before walking past, mumbling quietly, “surprised you sent one at all.”

kuroo doesn’t have anything to say to that, standing in place as kenma opens the door only slightly to reach in and grab his bag, “i’m off early! don’t forget to clean up!”

“yes captain!” the group replies before the door is shut again and kenma walks right past him to leave. kuroo quickly catches up, keeping quiet as they leave the school grounds. kenma has never left practice early, and they only would’ve started a mere hour or so ago, so he’s curious about it.

though he doesn’t ask and prefers to start simple. “so you’re captain this year?”

“unfortunately.” it’s all he gets and he only nods as they continue walking.

the walk to the train station is long, and again, kenma doesn’t speak, acting as if he’s alone. kuroo hates the silence for once.

the younger doesn’t argue when they sit right next to each other, bumping shoulders here and there as the train moves, keeping his eyes focused on the world outside. for the first time in a while, kuroo can’t see his game in sight, and he hates it. maybe it’s because it’s so familiar to him; to see the younger walk around with his phone or game in his face as he trails along behind him. maybe it’s because he has to walk alone now.

so when they get off the train, kuroo moves first, waiting for kenma to follow. he does for a while, and it’s nice, until kuroo looks back and kenma is a few metres away, staring daggers at him.

“kenma?”

“why are you here?” it’s the same question from earlier, and there’s no kindness in it. kenma’s voice is full of pain and anger and kuroo hates himself for making it happen. he knows it’s his fault, and only his fault. the words just won’t mix together in the right order. “answer me.”

so he stares at him until the younger is deflated, empty of all the strength he had only minutes ago, before kuroo has his shoulder shoved as the younger moves past him and towards home. kuroo still follows.

it takes a while longer until they reach the younger’s house and he shuts the gate forcefully before the dark-haired boy can get a foot through, staring down at the grey metal. his shoulders are hunched and his knuckles white, trying to keep himself strong. the older knows he’s going to break again, and very soon, so he starts again.

“why did you cut your hair? you said you wanted it to fade before you did.”

kuroo hates the shine in the younger’s eyes as he stares at him, and the sun setting on his features makes it worse.

“are you mad that i broke a promise, tetsurou?” kenma hasn’t called him that for a long time, even as a joke. so that’s when he knows he’s hurt him, “you didn’t seem to care how i felt when you broke yours.”

he can’t say anything to that. there’s no response that will make things seem easy. so he steps back from the gate, only a step, and drops his eyes. “i’m sorry, kenma.”

they continue to stand in silence for a long time, and kuroo has never hated peace so much. he’s always wanted peace and quiet to form some part of his life, whether he be in the presence of others or alone. but it gets hard when the silence is painful, and he’s sure he’s never felt that pain so strongly until now.

yet kenma still doesn’t walk away when they are surrounded by nothing but silence. it’s awry, and kuroo lets a deep breath go before he raises his eyes and- oh.

kenma doesn’t cry. he never cries. but those are definitely his tears and that’s when it settles in kuroo’s heart that he has caused damage he cannot fix with a simple apology.

so he steps forward again, slowly, and pushes open the gate. the younger backs away as it happens and lowers his arms, staring at a point past the older’s shoulder, letting his gaze become unfocused as warm arms wrap around his shoulders and bring him into a hold he’s so desperately missed. he doesn’t want to touch him; doesn’t want the delayed comfort. but kuroo is warmth and safety and he feels like home.

so he lets the itching in his hands dissipate as he brings them up to the older’s back, scrunching his fingers in the deep red material of his hoodie that looks so much like the nekoma jackets, and he breathes him in like he’s been suffocating without his presence. everything still feels the same physically, but he knows kuroo has changed deep inside. that’s what hurts the most.

“you promised me, kuroo. yet you left me anyway.”

there’s nothing kuroo can say to make things better. he knows he could form a million sentences and apologies and make a million more promises that he says he will keep, but he can’t. because if he’s hurt kenma once, he’s bound to do it all those million more times, and every time it will be worse than the last.

so he just holds kenma tightly in his arms as the sun goes down and the world around them begins to settle, and he tries to take in every inch of the younger that is still the same, but oh-so very different.

the way his hair slips through his fingers all too quickly is the hardest part to accept. because that’s kuroo’s fault, and it’s one thing he can’t bring back, no matter the time or attention he shares with the one who may not see him as his best friend anymore.


End file.
